What is Dawn Dance you ask? My alma mater's annual weekend where alumni to reconnect with campus and old classmates through a series of social events.
My college experience was kind of unique. I attended college with my two sisters and two childhood friends, and a friend we met down there, but instantly became my sister, so you could say we had our own form of a sisterhood. We were all beautiful, fly, smart, party animals, and everyone wanted to be around us. And boy, did we party.
On the other hand, I dealt with insecurities about my body, my self-worth, and self-esteem because I was surrounded by beautiful people. At times I would sink into the background and let them have the spotlight. As a result, I fell for the wrong boy, and continued an unhealthy relationship with him, on the low, my entire college career and even for a few years after graduation. The fact that it was on the low only added to questioning my self-worth.
I'd struggled with these issues for most of my life, but they magnified in college. I started this blogging journey to get over how I felt about myself at school. Going back required me to face and make peace with the past since I'm no longer that person.
This was my first time back in about seven years, and because of the work I did on myself I was able to really enjoy my friends, and laugh at the memories of walking around campus. Like the time a dude tried to "diss" me on a mixtape, or the time my girls and I threw one of the craziest parties in WU history that almost got us kicked out, taping the answers to a water bottle to cheat on an exam, and the time we hung out with the VP of the college blasting Mariah Carey's The Emancipation of Mimi album. And when a dude tapped my arm at the party to ask if I could tap my friend for him, I laughed, moved to the side, and watched her rip him a new one. No comparing. No tears.
Overall, it was a cool little girls' trip with my old college roommates/sisters. We connected with old faces, met some new people, drank, and partied like we were in our 20's again. (Even though there were factors around us that quickly told us that we weren't--like our creaky knees and the mumble rap that all the DJs would play) Most important, I walked away feeling free!
For once, I embraced my style, played by my own rules, and socialized on my own terms. I got to see the school for what it was--a place of peace in the middle of the corn fields--without being clouded by my insecurities.
Writing this as I drive away from the school heading back to the real world.