"I would have sex with her, but I would never date her."
"That’s great, but if you are plus-sized, maybe you should stay in your lane."
Those were just a few comments I heard from men after Ashley Graham's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover was released.
Listening made me wonder. "Is this how men feel about me? Am I not dateable? Am I wrong for showing women it’s okay to go against what society deems acceptable? Should I just stay in my lane?"
My response? "Get the fuck out of here with that self-doubt bullshit. You are on the right track. Those comments are why you are on this path--you are showing women how to feel beautiful and not internalize others’ opinions of their bodies."
So let’s break down some of the comments I mentioned above."I wouldn't date her.” Men have a weird way of thinking they're always the choosers; saying “I wouldn’t date her” as if she’d actually consider dating them. Men assume plus-sized women are desperate. Not the case.
"She should stay in her lane.” She was doing so good in "her lane" that Sports Illustrated asked her to cross into their lane. Because someone is plus-sized, they shouldn’t want to be seen as sexy? I’ll wait.
This week has shown me how much I have grown. The old me would have wrestled with everyone else’s thoughts for weeks and used them as an excuse to doubt myself. New me took in what was said and after realizing I didn’t agree, dismissed it. That’s definitely growth. I'll take it.
Are you having a hard time overcoming others’ opinions? How do you deal with it?
What are your effing thoughts on this topic???