I was having drinks with one of my best girlfriends recently and the topic of “plus size girls with skinny friends” came up.
I told her about a recent conversation I had with Kim, a fellow plus size girl, about being the biggest girl in her circle of friends and the added pressure that comes with having to look extra good around them. Being the biggest of all my friends, I could relate to her frustrations.
This was a big issue for me in college and post-graduation. I missed milestone events in my friends’ lives because of it. “However,” I told Kim, “I eventually got past it because I realized the only person thinking about me being ‘the plus size friend’ and them being ‘the skinny friends’ was me. In the end, they won't remember what you were wearing that night that y’all had a blast. All they will remember was that you were there.”
If your friends cared only about how their clique is perceived, they wouldn’t hang out with you. Trust me, there are definitely girls out there who pick their friends based solely on appearance. People (who are not my friends) have suggested I get bigger friends because I seem “out of place.” But if your friends are begging you to be part of their adventures, they are not those type of girls.
So please stop comparing yourself to your skinny friends. You will not look like them (right now) in a two piece swimsuit. You don’t look like them in a dress or jeans or skirt and that’s fine because on the flip side they don’t look like you. You can only control how you feel about you and that the clothes you pick suit your style and body type so when it’s time to hang out, you feel confident about looking fabulous with your fabulous friends.
As my friend and I finished up our drinks she asked “Did someone really say you should pick bigger friends?" When I replied yes, she asked “Well hell, you’re supposed to hang out with a group of big girls just because they are big and be miserable? That’s dumb as f--k.” I always knew I had good friends but when she spoke those words she solidified she wasn’t the kind of girl who picked her friends based solely on how they look. I took her message to mean “I’m your friend. Period.”